how to summarize 2010? ah, i’ve got it:

2010, much better than 2009, but still not great.

after enjoying a wonderful new year’s eve celebration and new year’s morning with friends, mike and i sat down last night to a quiet evening, reflecting on last year, and looking to the year ahead, talking about the things in our life we are resolved to accomplish.

interestingly enough for both mike and i, last year seemed all about the bigger picture – what does it all mean for things 2, 3, 5, 10 years down the road for us? don’t get me wrong, it’s good to be thinking ahead, but it’s fairly paralyzing to the present day if that’s the only thing that you are thinking about. so instead of solely looking forward, what we vowed for 2011 is to think more of now, because life is now, it’s not a few years away. in light of all that, here’s what i’m trying to get done in the next 362-ish days left in 2011:

go to the dermatologist. i have had a draft blog post about this in queue for months now, but haven’t been brave enough actually hit ‘publish’. i’m nearly 30 and still have the skin of a pubescent teenage boy. it’s time to do something about it.

don’t wallow in self pity when things are not actually that bad. i really enjoy the blog sweet juniper!, and recently this post particularly resonated with me. what struck me was the line, “no matter what you get, remember you are the lucky ones.” it’s so true, and yet so easy to lose perspective of. it’s just kind of silly to feel bad for myself when every day of my life i: feel safe, have a great job, a wonderful family,  dog, and network of friends, plenty of wonderful food to eat, and a beautiful shelter over my head. so. things really aren’t bad. in fact, they are kind of great as a whole.

make charlie’s life better. i often stop myself from doing other things like finding a yoga class, going to the grocery store, exploring the city in general, because i feel like the time out of the house would be a disservice to charlie. but having a depressed mom at home probably does just as much good as leaving him alone all the time. so i’m aiming to strike some sort of balance to make charlie’s home and outside life better. i’m not exactly sure what i will do, but i’m going to work hard to figure it out, and then execute.

find out someTHING(S) out about myself. that i love zumba, or hate zumba. that i can meet new people and not get awkward in a conversation. that i actually…who knows?! just figure it out.

blog. about a week ago, our friend over at hellosorld, mike, and i had a chance to hang out together. while at dinner he and i made an impromptu pact with each other: to blog at least twice a week. not an unrealistic goal, to be sure. the posts don’t have to say much or be earth-shattering, the goal is just to blog. i’m truly looking forward to this, as i really love to write here. having this outside pressure/commitment will, i think, make my worries of writer’s block dissipate.

there are some other items on the list, but they are a bit more personal. suffice it to say, they’re all about how to live life now and not to wait until later to make me, my friends, and my family happy.

happy new year to you all. i hope that 2011 brings you much deserved love and joy in your lives.

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unfortunately, the first couple of days to this year comes with some sad news: i found out this morning that my grandmother passed away quietly in her sleep last night. she was a wonderful woman, with more love in her heart for her family and God than anyone else i’ve ever met. it was a treasure to have her in my life, and i can only strive to be half the person that she was. it was time for her to go, i understand that, but it doesn’t make the hole this loss has created any smaller. i love you, patty.

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