today a short, sad, and in my opinion, heroic story.

so i’ve been doing some freelance work during this extended time at home. i am eternally grateful for the work and the added income it brings in (keep her comin’ folks. i do party tricks, too), and i am most especially relieved for the distraction the ability to be creative has brought me.

so about a week ago, i got a check in the mail from one of the people i have been working for. i think to myself, it’s all good in the hood, thanks for the check, folks. then a tiny ping hits me no larger than the diameter of one of charlie’s whiskers. it subsides immediately, and i’m happily on my way. then, from nowhere two hours later, the thought hits me again. this time it has solidified itself. it’s no longer the warm, just-mixed-together-jello-mix-thought. the thought is now jello jigglers bill cosby would be proud of. my mind yells to myself, “YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN PAID FOR THIS ONCE BEFORE!!!”

what do i do?

well, of course i give the extra check back, but WHAT DO I DO?

this is not an insubstantial check i’m talking about here. i mean, i just now caught myself sighing out loud from dissappointment while typing this, the check was so healthy. for me, this was like the largest moral dilemma i could put myself through. generally i’m all set for what i think is right and wrong, but GEEZ. put a girl in a situation where she’s been the primary breadwinner in the family for the past few years, and then take away like 40% of that income and all hope for a new job, and see how she does. THEN give her a million extra hours to think about that lost income and the failure as a family member and general member of society (i know, i know, you don’t have to say it), and it’s like i’m in kindergarten all over again, and the one thing i’m not allowed to do is to mark up my report card envelope that i brought home from school. next thing you know, you got it, red crayon EVERYWHERE.

so today, i put the proverbial red crayon down, and gave the proverbial report card cover back unscathed. forget spiderman and superman, there’s a new superhero in town.